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Life through the sober lens from the original UK podcast for the sober and sober curious with author and coach, Kate Baily.
Episodes
4 days ago
4 days ago
In this episode of Love Sober Podcast, Kate talks with Victoria Vanstone, founder of Sober Awkward, writer, podcaster and author of A Thousand Wasted Sundays.
Victoria shares her journey from Reading pub culture and wild backpacking years (including blowing off part of her finger with a firework) through motherhood, anxiety and the moment she realised she could “step off the roundabout” and choose a sober life.
Kate and Victoria explore people‑pleasing, self‑abandonment, ADHD and rejection sensitivity, perimenopause and midlife rage, and how sobriety becomes a messy, beautiful “welcome mat” back home to yourself.
- Growing up in Reading pub culture, wild backpacking years and a Millennium firework accident that blew off part of her finger – Victoria Vanstone always wore chaos as a badge of honour.
- Motherhood, anxiety and Sunday shame finally brought her to a quiet rock bottom: “I just can’t f*cking do this anymore.”
- We talk about people‑pleasing, self‑abandonment, ADHD and rejection sensitivity, perimenopause, and why sobriety is the most interesting thing she’s ever done.
- Plus: social pivots in midlife, sober retreats in Thailand, the chicken dance, and rediscovering childlike joy without alcohol.
- Listen now on Love Sober Podcast and share with a sober or sober‑curious friend who needs this.
Links & Resources
Victoria Vanstone / Sober Awkward
- Website: [Sober Awkward] https://www.soberawkward.com/
- Podcast: https://www.soberawkward.com/
- Books: 1000 Wasted Sundays and Mumming: A Year of Trying and Failing to Be a Better Parent – [Book links]https://www.soberawkward.com/
- Thailand sober retreats with Sober Dave: https://www.soberawkward.com/
Kate & Love Sober
- Love Sober website & programs: [Love Sober] https://www.lovesober.com/
- Group program: Love Your Sober Summer – 6‑week group coaching for navigating summer triggers, holidays, nervous system regulation and boundaries: [Love Your Sober Summer] https://www.lovesober.com/love-your-sober-summer
Books & ideas mentioned
- The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober – Catherine Gray
- Hagitude – Sharon Blackie
- Women Who Run with the Wolves – Clarissa Pinkola Estés
- Creatrix / Burning Woman – Lucy H. Pearce
- ADHD & Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)
Vic's new book 'Mumming - A Year of Trying to be a Better Parent' is out now!
Grab a cuppa and let's chat x
Sunday May 10, 2026
Sunday May 10, 2026
What if the cracks aren’t something to hide?
In this episode of the Love Sober Podcast, we explore the Japanese art of kintsugi — the practice of repairing broken pottery with gold — as a powerful metaphor for the sober journey, midlife healing, and self-compassion.
Together, we work with a kintsugi kit and reflect on the principles of imperfection, impermanence, and incompleteness. We talk honestly about what happens when life doesn’t go to plan, when coping mechanisms stop working, and how recovery asks us to show up gently, consistently, and truthfully — one day at a time.
Rather than striving for perfection or a “fixed” version of ourselves, this conversation explores the possibility that healing might actually deepen us. That the places we’ve cracked open can become places of wisdom, softness, creativity, and connection.
In this episode we explore:
- What kintsugi teaches us about sobriety and recovery
- The emotional weight of perfectionism in midlife
- Why self-compassion matters more than self-criticism
- Impermanence, nervous systems, and learning to stay present
- How alcohol-free living creates space for repair and reconnection
- The beauty of becoming whole — not flawless
- Small daily practices that help us keep showing up for ourselves
This is a gentle, reflective conversation for anyone navigating sobriety, burnout, perimenopause, emotional healing, or simply the messy beauty of being human.
You do not have to become perfect to begin again.
Journal Prompt
Where in your life are you being invited to soften rather than fix?
Mentioned in this episode
- Kintsugi: the Japanese art of repairing pottery with gold
- Self-compassion in recovery
- Nervous system regulation and embodied healing
- Midlife sobriety and identity shifts
If this episode resonated, share it with a friend or leave a review — it helps more women find the conversation.
Let's grab a cuppa and chat
Kate & Helen x
Sunday Apr 26, 2026
Sunday Apr 26, 2026
Podcast notes: Kate Codrington on Second Spring, menopause, rest and elderhood
In this episode I speak with the wonderful Kate Codrington about menopause as a powerful life transition rather than a “decline”. We explore the idea of Second Spring, the seasonal map of midlife, sobriety, rest, grief, nervous system repair, women’s circles, and the emerging path into elderhood.
Main themes
Menopause as a transition, not a decline
Kate challenges the cultural story that menopause is a downward slope, reframing it as a sensitive, powerful transition into a more authentic self.Drawing on Chinese medicine and menstrual cycle awareness, Kate explains post-menopause as a renewed spring: a time of clearer energy, deeper wisdom and a new relationship with self.
The end of people-pleasing
We talk about oestrogen, belonging, fawning, niceness and the “good daughter of the patriarchy” — and why menopause can bring rage, clarity and a glorious reduction in giving a fuck.
Sobriety and menopause as awakenings
Both sobriety and menopause ask us to stop numbing, stop performing and begin listening to what is actually true.
Rest as deep medicine
Kate shares how yoga nidra and a simple 15-minute daily stop became part of her own healing. We talk about rest not as another self-care task, but as a way of softening the nervous system over time.
The foundations matter
Sleep, hydration, nourishing food, less alcohol, pleasure, movement, connection and nervous system care are not glamorous quick fixes, but they are the real work.
Grief, loss and the seasons
We explore autumn and winter as maps for grief, shedding and endings — and how grief can deepen our commitment to life.Midlife often brings both a fierce need for solitude and a longing for women’s community. We talk about the shadow and healing of returning to circle.
Elderhood and contribution
Kate speaks beautifully about elderhood as authenticity, discernment, alignment, contribution and modelling another way of living — not necessarily loud leadership, but quiet wisdom.
Mentioned in this episode
Kate Codrington’s books:
Second Spring: The Self-Care Guide to Menopause
The Perimenopause Journal
Kate’s podcast:
Life — An Inside Job
FIND KATE AT https://www.katecodrington.co.uk/
Love Sober note
If this conversation speaks to where you are, my six-week group programme Love Your Sober Summer begins on 21 June. We’ll explore summer triggers, socialising, holidays, rest, nervous system support and how to feel more like yourself without relying on alcohol. Small group, six live coaching calls, seasonal tools and support. More at lovesober.com.
Sunday Apr 12, 2026
Sunday Apr 12, 2026
Episode 1: Tiny Joy for When Life Feels F***ed
with Kate Baily and guest host Helen Lees
Welcome back to the Love Sober Podcast — the podcast for the sober and sober curious.
In this first episode of the new season, Kate is joined by new guest host Helen Lees for a heartfelt conversation about tiny joy — those small, sensory, grounding moments that can help us through grief, overwhelm, cravings, stress, and the sheer weight of life.
Together, Kate and Helen explore how alcohol can disconnect us from real pleasure and presence, and how sobriety helps us gently rebuild a toolkit of comfort, connection and self-resourcing.
They talk about grief, motherhood, nervous system care, sensory rituals, dopamine, play, cravings, and the surprising power of tiny things — from soft clothes and candles to pesto, poached eggs, cold water, dogs, lipstick and woodland light.
This is an honest, compassionate conversation about finding anchors in difficult times, and learning how to stay in the solution, one small moment at a time.
In this episode, we explore:
- What “tiny joy” means in sober life
- Why small comforts matter in grief, stress and early sobriety
- How alcohol promises relief but disconnects us from real joy
- Building a sober toolkit for cravings and emotional overwhelm
- Sensory interventions and micro-pleasures that help regulate the nervous system
- Play, ritual, nature and self-parenting in recovery
- Why sobriety is about what we add in, not just what we remove
Mentioned in this episode:
- The Embodied Queen Retreat with Rachel Brady and Cybele Botran
- Love Sober Life School — our 12-week spring/summer programme for sober and sober curious women
Reflection questions from this episode:
- What does tiny joy mean to you personally?
- When have you noticed alcohol promising joy but disconnecting you from it?
- What small pleasures help interrupt cravings or bring you back to yourself?
If this episode resonated, we’d love to hear from you.
Get in touch:
hello@lovesober.com
Find out more:
www.lovesober.com
Links:
- Love Sober website: https://www.lovesober.com
- Love Sober Life School: https://www.lovesober.com
- Contact us: hello@lovesober.com
Friday Sep 26, 2025
Friday Sep 26, 2025
What if you could meet yourself with the care you always needed? In this episode, I talk with Cybele Botran about the transformative practice of reparenting.
Cybele is a trusted guide for women on the path of emotional healing. She is a Certified Trauma-Informed SHERECOVERS® Coach, an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC), and a Mother Hunger® Trained Facilitator. Her work centers on reparenting as a powerful modality for transformation. Through one-to-one coaching, courses, groups, and retreats, Cybele creates supportive spaces where women can reconnect with their most tender selves.
✨ Where to find Cybele
🌿 Retreat Invitation 🌿
Cybele and Rachel are delighted to be co-hosting a Luxury Healing Retreat for Sober or Sober Curious Women this November in Cornwall, UK.
A Luxury Healing Retreat for Sober or Sober Curious Women to Reclaim Their Power
📅 November 9–15, 2025 | Cornwall, UK
👭 Women Only | Alcohol-Free
🏡 5-Star Luxury
https://www.rachelbradyyoga.com/luxury-cornwall-retreat-sober-yoga-women
AMAZING OFFER!!! Email me for a £333 discount code for the retreat at kate@lovesober.com
Friday Aug 29, 2025
Friday Aug 29, 2025
Midlife isn’t a crisis — it’s an initiation. In this episode, I explore the Queen Phase archetype, why sobriety is a midlife superpower, and how we can rise into this season with clarity, energy, and sovereignty.
👉 Join Midlife Alchemy Mentoring — a 12-week journey for sober women in midlife. Early Bird ends 1st Sept. Secure your place here 🌿 EARLY BIRD ENDS SEPT 1st use code ALCHEMY20 to claim. Only 5 places left.
Grab a cuppa and let's chat!
Kate x
Friday Apr 18, 2025
Friday Apr 18, 2025
Welcome to the Love Sober podcast, a supportive space for the sober and sober curious.
In this episode, Kate Baily interviews Maggie Klaassens, a certified alcohol-free coach and founder of The Sober Summit and Sober Circle community.
Maggie shares her inspiring journey to sobriety, navigating Mommy Wine Culture and Covid and her motivation to create the free transformative online event The Sober Summit (23.04.25 -25.04.25) and the powerful impact of being part of a supportive sober community.
Join us as we explore the benefits, challenges, and tools of the sober lifestyle, and discover the empowering journey towards living an alcohol-free life.
Grab a cuppa and let's chat!
KX
Register for your free seat at THE SOBER SUMMIT online event on April 23-25 2025. Here 👇👇👇👇👇
https://soberlifecollective.spiffy.co/a/7m3cxEn1BG/4343
Follow Maggie in Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesobersummit/
Thursday Sep 26, 2024
Thursday Sep 26, 2024
In this episode I talk to Casey M Davidson about how to fall in love with Sober October. We discuss habit change, early sobriety tools and the practices that have helped us to fall in love with our sobriety.
Casey McGuire Davidson is a Certified Life + Sobriety Coach who helps busy women quit drinking and create lives they love without alcohol at Hello Someday Coaching and the host of The Hello Someday Podcast.
The Hello Someday Podcast For Sober Curious Women is a Top 100 Mental Health podcast, ranked in the Top 0.5% of all global podcasts with over 1.5 MM downloads.
Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Good Morning America, NBC News, CNBC and over 100 sobriety, motherhood, mental health and wellness podcasts and publications.
Links: Love Sober Community
Love Sober Life School 3 month program for Holidays, Christmas and Dry Jan
Grab a cuppa and let's chat.
Kate x
Friday Sep 06, 2024
Friday Sep 06, 2024
In this episode I talk to the founder of The Menopause School, Fiona Catchpowle who gives us a masterclass in understanding hormonal health & ageing, peri menopause, menopause and holistic health, HRT and alcohol plus practical ways to empower us to make choices for our health.
Fiona Catchpowle is a Menopause Doula and the Creator and Founder of The Menopause School - a centre of excellence for holistic practitioners to become menstrual health informed.
Even with a background in Biology and Holistic Therapy, Fiona’s own experience of menopause was like hitting a brick wall. How could it be possible to reach 47 and not know about something called perimenopause? Had she missed the menopause memo?
It soon became apparent that there was no education, formal or otherwise, for menstruators of any age to learn about the menstrual health journey and how to best support themselves.
Driven to make a change in menstrual and menopause health education, Fiona built The Menopause School.
Fiona is on a mission to change the face of menopause care by creating a global collective of Menopause Doulas who will guide, nurture and support others along the menstrual health timeline from periods to perimenopause and beyond.
Social Media Links
@TheMenopauseSchool
https://www.facebook.com/TheMenopauseSchool
@TheMenopauseSchool
https://www.instagram.com/themenopauseschool
@menopauseschool
https://twitter.com/MenopauseSchool
@TheMenopauseSchool
Thursday Aug 01, 2024
Thursday Aug 01, 2024
In this episode I talk to a fabulous sober sis who this year has been sober for 30 YEARS! YAS queen...Arlina Allen! With this kind of sobriety timeline, Arlina has an amazing perspective on the shifting cultural narratives around sobriety and addiction over the last three decades and the expansion of all patchworks and pathways of recovery and has a refreshing take on the 12 Steps from her badass journey.
With her trademark down-to-earth, humorous take on life and sobriety you are going to want to hang out with her for the next hour, I promise! We talk about our differing approaches to sobriety, semantics of the steps, how to reframe them to fit a female friendly, secular experience and how to find empowerment even within the language of 'powerlessness,' and how the menopause is for us gals and why booze has no place there.
Grab a cuppa and let's chat.
Kate x
Arlina Allen is a Certified Recovery Coach (IAPRC), Certified Hypnotist CH, the Founder of Sober Life School, and host of the award winning recovery podcast "The One Day At A Time Recovery Podcast" with over 300 episodes. She helps busy women quit drinking and create a life they love!
She has been sober since 4/23/94, happily married for 27 years, Mother of two amazing young adult men and Mama to Teddy, the family English Bulldog.
Through her 30 years of lived experience in sobriety and working with other women to heal their relationship with alcohol and other addictions, she developed a special intuitiveness and insights into resolving the blocks to behavior change. With a combination of science based mental, spiritual, physical and emotional practices she has seen profound and lasting changes in her clients.
Her class "Reinvent-How To Rebuild Self-Esteem & End Self-Sabotage" is being taught to those who've suffered from low self-esteem, addiction, codependency, toxic relationships and many other issues.
"We only allow into our lives what we believe we deserve on a subconscious level. You can change what you believe and create the life of your dreams. Change your mind, change your life." ~Arlina Allen
Links:
Sober Life School- http://www.soberlifeschool.com
Reinvent - Self Esteem Course http://www.selfesteemcourse.com
Podcast http://www.odaatchat.com
Social Media:
Facebook Page: facebook.com/odaatchat
Instagram: @odaatpodcast @arlinaallen